an attitude of grattitude

Everyday I wake up & i pray on the things that make me grateful. Today, I am grateful for many things. What exactly is that? they are all so random...that is why i make lists:

#1 a late dinner I had with my friend Janae after our prayer group & our little memory of her pushing me in a shopping cart throughout the grocery store
#2 the ability to have recognized an error on a receipt for something that was supposed to be on sale & the appreciation i had for the sales and how big of a shop rite the store was
#3 a fond memory of me and my bangali first grade neighbor dancing with our mini sunglasses while kindly being served Indian food the same night
#4 having the ability to sit still and read english and correct grammar with my foreign neighbor
#5 being able to teach an elderly group of people how to crochet while doing community service & also having been able to teach my other bangali neighbor how to crochet and in a matter of minutes
#6 taking time out of my day to learn my neighbors culture. ASALAM ALAYKUM means hello :)
#7 feeding my fathers pet deer lettuce today & being nearly 10 feet away from them
#8 finding out i still have the seasonal job up the rd from me
#9 having a beautiful artsy decked out apt & having the ability to live alone even though at times it is rough
#10 knowing I have no bad intentions towards anyone ever
#11 having the ability to connect with god and pray
#12 the love i have for movies and really good music
#13 having experienced over 30 live musical performances including tom petty, wyclef jean & foster the people & michael franti and the spearheads
#14 knowing that almost everyone in my family is coming together & for the better
#15 the homemade butternut squash soup i cooked today
#16 owning a car & being able to just pay my bills & get by
#17 knowing i do not need materialistic things in order to be happy & knowing that money will never give me the most happiness....itll come from within only.
#18 having the ability to not sell myself short to other people
#19 knowing i only surround myself with good people
#20 the ability to create art :)

Time to grow up

Ive been waiting for the day I learn to accept myself & seperate myself from others. 25 is not an easy age Nor is it for all the youth in this day and age ...i was one to party and feel the need to belong. I knew i was a leader but im a bit eccentric & many people didnt want to give me the time of day. A box is not what i live in & society tends to live that way. However, god gave me many gifts & now i plan to entirely fulfill my role and use all of these blessings to better myself, grow up while staying young at heart & spiritually touching others. If i party and play with the crowd, i may never grow SO now its official , im growing up..

What is manual Labor Like FOR A GIRL?

I gotta say Farming & House cleaning comes along way Minus the fact that it gives you major back pain.... I LIKE WORKING FOR MYSELF. Thank god im stretching & doing a small amount of pilates exercises. However, the strainy pain is still there. I almost miss being a girl who gets to wear makeup & dress up along with standing tall with posture in the real job world. But hey Im 25 & I got bills to pay. I decided not to smoke cigs all day, Rid partying & surround myself with winners. God gave me manual labor but as a girl, He shall heal my back pain. i Think & believe i truly deserve that. At least im not complaining & being in the sun helps as long as Im not doing it all day. The house cleaning, well thats a different story. Hopefully i do not kill myself LOL.

Where do we go now?

Today I am finally realizing:

there is no need for cursing...its a word of crap & its nothing but trouble. If i say fuck or shit or slut or douchebag, who am I to spread that negative crapola? Its obviously not doing jack for society. 

there is no need for dependence on other people to make you happy....why? so you could feel like you need to die once its over. Itll end if you do nothing but fret on how to keep people on a leash esp when you do not stop yourself. Independence is the key to love & love is a matter of can you seperate & will you always look at a stranger and threaten them with your eyes because they are just looking? I wouldn't want that feeling, nor would i ever want my significant other to think or perceive that. No way Jose!

Where does money go....it doesn't stay in your hand & nor does it last long.When people say I have money, will you even always have that money? its a Huge circle jerk ...its good to spend if its going to goodness & actual life. But when you buy buy buy or use use use, will it buy you what you always wanted? And will your kids appreciate you in the long run? Will you be the loaded guy with the young female who uses you for what you have? deep down itll never feel that good . When i get money some day, which could be today :), I know im gonna know where itll go. Itll go up always :)

How do you feel about others.& what do you believe......we all know People are up and down and in and out.... what do you believe? i believe in god .I know people will let you down. It doesn't matter if you are good or bad! we are human!

Chalk it Out :) & LiVe It UP*

 I did this randomly for the outdoor life of childish fun with the chalk. CAN YOU DIG?

Live like a child & encourage a child to stay young with their spirit

Festivals are their very own worlds: Vacations from the real world. Everyone is super friendly. Just be weary and watchful, drugs are everywhere. Im a show junkie So id be the one to go all alone in the future and be sober minded...meeting the people you do is incredible FYI........God really gave me the best memorable summer before my life picks up entirely :)        

Death cab for cutieMeet me on the equinox 


Michael franti & the spearheadHey world...This man was sent from GOD!  He speaks the truth

Lupi fiasco...  I DIDNT CARE SORRY The show goes on 

Modest MouseFloat on LIVE...quality isnt mind FYI....found it on youtube But hey i was in the crowd hey hey hey :)

Jack white..I missed this guy! No biggie whatsoever


The killers  New single Runaway LIVE    excellent performers...They even had fireworks shoot from both sides of the stafe

Black keys Tighten up LIVE...missed a great deal of their performance :) ...could hear them though

awolnation

grouplove Colours ...one of the few I missed!

silversun pickupsLazy eye  ...I only caught their last song

 JOHN LEGEND

John legend Ordinary People Beautiful man & even better voice 

 was in this crowd. I touched the balloon :)

Flaming LipsDo you realize This is some hypnotizing psychological CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN IT. One experience of a lifetime and last. I could write a book on this. it taught me u only live once and it gave me a lesson ill be forever grateful for...learning lesson that is...thank god I wake up haha. Guiness book of world records congrats 8 shows in 24hours but hmmm what did that take beside dedication lol.

ID DANCE TO POLICA EVERYDAY

Polica  Best Music to dance to @ entire festival! 

CakeSheep go to heaven LIVE...another old schooler :)

Wallflowers  ...I  missed them though...my 90s music :(

Awaken the soul with REAL GOOD MUSIC +++

There really Ain't no Reason. This song is the truth though  Brett Dennen...seriously there is no reason we live the way we do....we live in insanity and that just is normal for us unfortunately  but we all do have choices

Soul Full Michael Franti FYI, he literally brings the sunshine out :)  Mountian jam woodstock ny june 2012  +  firefly festival Dover, DE july 2012

Old school Jewel Hands

Joan osborne ONE OF US

Just give me your eyes  Christian singer

Gotye keep your eyes wide open     phenomenol performer & meaningful for sure  March 2012 Terminal 5 NYC

I crowd surfed to Awolnation     ..Firefly Festival De DOVER JULY 2012...he even had a GRACE tattoo on his arm(1st brave crowdsurf).Watch there is really a battle on both shoulders except the devil is usually right before your eyes opposed to just being on either side..just be aware..theres always a right & wrong

I could do this all day. Music is one of my hugest passions but everyone keep in mind, There is always light at the end of the tunnel & with god all things are possible...miracles are endless if we keep our eyes and mind focused on the good word & the good life which is always real as much as we can allow it to be.

What does Your name mean? Is it a gift

In biblical meaning, Casey means brave. And I know exactly what it means to be bold. In order to believe in god you have to be bold, and in order to be an adrenaline junkie, you have to be as well.

Ive been skydiving, ziplining, cliff jumping, Kingda ka ing (six flags adventure in nj) or at least ive done all these. I like living this way because i know i deserve it & i walk in my spirit which is led only be good ...god is good.  Ive also survived a bit of a warzone and i plan to keep on getting up everytime I fail Because there are always those trials and tribulations.
so what does your name mean & do you feel like you are a gift Because i know we all are true gifts from our good ol pal god.

Negative energy IS GONE

My beliefs are literally of the good word and of good nature BECAUSE of my past & what i know :

"Therefore, if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2: cor: 5:17

"Be anxious for nothing, but by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving, let all your requests be made known to god"    Philippians 4:6

"As you enter the house, greet it.   MATTHEW 10:12
And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it,  but if it is not worthy, let your PEACE return to YOU..  MATTHEW 10:13

"And if anyone will not receieve you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave the house or town" MATTHEW 10:14






WE ARE ALL IN CHARGE OF OUR DESTINY THROUGH GOD. not other people! i like the energy and im officially keeping it because i claim it. its better than living as though it were yesterdays problems.

Im unfortunately decision indecisive

I may be like everyone else when it comes to figuring out what i want. Haha but i highly doubt it. But then again you never know. Im currently facing "do i want to leave my apt where my landlord sucks" or do i want to pack my big mess of stuff & transport it to a new location. And for my career path, I have just started to establish a business, but that stuff is pretty unpredictable considering no one has money today for a housecleaner. I almost wish i could be a famous artist and know id be fairly well off. But people cannot even afford art today. They are lucky enough if they can pay their bills ...yowch. Eh i know i could use my brain for college, but will there even be careers by the time Id even graduate. I know someone cannot tell me what to do, other than my higher power aka jesus christ ....however, sometimes like everyone else, we look to our friends or our family.....but what do we want...what do i really want? Its in my heart and all of our hearts. No distractions. How can i make a decision when im constantly in a cluster. hehe. IM STILL indecisive about my decision to post this....we will see if i make the decision i need not only with posting this but in life!   wish me luck!

Self disciplining it with Facebook

Has anyone ever thought, "wow I've been on facebook way too long today" or "why am i Staring at this persons FB for so long because i know it feels kind of creepy" or Has anyone ever felt destroyed after seeing a supposed significant others pictures with unnecessary feelings of jealousy. I think we all jump to conclusions of some sort. However, as cool and convenient as FB may seem, It may be more stressful and addicting. Might I add, in my opinion, way too time consuming. With all the pictures and life i have, esp being 25 years old, this is really hard,;But i made a vow the other day that I am staying off fb for at least a month. The internet is tough to go on without thinking about it, But you know what: I get alot more done & its a test; A test for my self control. SELF CONTROL I never had much of a year ago. We all need more of that today. Thank you facebook BUT for now no thank you!

People come into our lives for a reason

People have been in and out of my life since i can remember. I cannot say it was much of what I did, but then again how can I even make such a statement. Whos to say im better. I just know that in life, you gain teachers more than you gain starry diamond friends.Without knowing it, they may even become your trusted friends or lovers. And sometimes just sometimes disappointedly enough, they come for a brief time and then they just leave .And you never thought it would happen because it just felt meant to be. you could compare it to high school if you wanted. Every relationship ive had, esp with guys have only helped me become stronger. I never knew what heartbreak really really was up until 2 years ago & now I know my heart cannot break again. My teacher taught me well, but sometimes it may not be love, just a lesson, A lesson well learned.

Amen.

Triple Crummy Wammy

Whats next for the month? I have one of the best immune systems around. Why do i keep getting all of these weird physical sicknesses LIKE poison ivy, red eye & now chiggers. Apparently that is rare. I was freaking out thinking they were fleas. But hey its pretty disturbing to know i have a red creepy bug swimming in my legs & they are frantically biting me slowly but surely. At least they will be dead in a week. too bad they arent just like yellow jackets. Those just sting for a second and then die. This crap feels like poison ivy. However, its a little worse. It throbs and itches like no other. At least it goes in spurts. Its extremely frustrating but not contagious or anything thank god.  What am i being told? its rather nuts  3 things in the course of a month. Nature must really be attracted to me . the wrong kind though YUCK. damn you poison ivy, pollen & creepy crawlers.

my spiritual realm has finally struck me well

The joy i have found just by eliminating the excess junk & toxins is splendid indeed. I didnt know how easy life could be until now. My prayers are finally paying off. 25 is a good year. I could still enjoy my youth which hopefully lasts forever. No person or thing could ever take that away from me. I just finished the book "she said yes". My sister had been begging me to read it forever. it was such an easy inspirational read. And it was a tragic book based on the columbine shooting. It touched the nations. I am so thrilled i actually read it Because it forced tears out of my eyes. When you do not cry, to yourself you lie. Everyone has emotions & we need to let them out for real. this quote i just quoted; and the sentence may not make sense. However, I just finished this entire book along with a documentary that truly touched my sensitive heart. if no one reads this its ok. I know one person who will. Thank god for life. thats all i can say & thanks for all the inspirational people in the world who use their voices.

Stop messing with me Phone cmpy

I really wish i knew all the answers sometimes. However, i do not. Only god knows! Literally. Everytime i use my phone, theres a random dial. No one can help. The phone cmpy is blaming the fact that i own a cordless & insisted i buy a plug in. No wonder everyone has cell phones nowadays. If i could afford one, Id have one right now. Well not necessarily true. I dont like being bothered and they distract me LOL. i swear i will not get texting once i get a phone. anyway, we arent in the days of interuppted phone lines. Remember when you could actually hear conversations lol. well random dials and clicks are pretty much the same thing except at least there was more humor in hearing who cindy liked or whatnot.Also people and phone cmpys were willing to help more. Enjoy the day. I need to keep moving. Later

Hunter Mountain Jam

Hunter mountian Jam (8th annual one) was the first adult festival i have been to! by far it was the best. No offense mom or dad. The bluegrass festivals were awesome as a kid 3 or 4 years in a row. I still miss them (lugging wagons up and down huge hills ...oh and the iccccccccce truck..i was fortunate enough to have spoken on that darn thing (intercom lol) anyway thanks jon for making everything epic..i know it was a neverending story & walmart killed us financially but hey so did u buying the weekend tkts..ill always appreciate it ...xoxo ....ill write later when i have more time...this will be a long blog! tooo be continued......

Kc*

Local Court Screwed me

Im sorry(actually not at this moment in time) but people are friggin A-holes. Im so angered right now. I got 20 bucks in the bank currently & i lost some of my previous balance to a judge who gave me advice to pay online. The online site is for travelers; namely out of staters. I could have walked . it would have taken me just my feet. I wouldnt have been even wasting an inkling of gas! 17 dollar convenience fee my friggin ass! How bout inconvenience all the way!


*KC*

Disorderly Conduct

I try and look at things in a positive light because if I do not, I'll live in fear forever. I'm marked disabled by NYS, and I've struggled daily since I was pretty much born. BPD and PTSD is something that most people dont take too lightly, in society that is!.However, they(regular people) tend to believe those are the crazy ones when in all actuality,they are pretty damn smart &..they(the regular ppl), are the ignorANT(ignore)ones.....(ant as in small...people are mean when they are small) SO JUST..mean people straight up suck " GREAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IDEAS..AVERAGE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THINGS..SMALL PEOPLE TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE" -unknown......life is, unfortunately COMPLETE gossip nowadays!

Emotions

Ive cried a lot since i was young; and i've come to realize, it wasn't at all mortifying..it was oh so relieving. i really feel that tears are the best kind of release for our bodies. everyone has experienced losing a close friend, family member maybe,a divorce, a breakup, a letdown. If we keep moving because we cannot let life go on, we could suffer more than we have to. so pretty much, im thrilled to have known myself and my emotions esp right now. It takes a lot of hard work, but if you look inside and release , you will really find and then you truly would be at ease! AND oh yeah, Have no regrets because all you can do is move forward.

With God all Things are Possible

My whole life i knew something would happen. Something great that is. I knew smiling and loving other people would pay off in the long run. Besides that, I prayed and believed and envisoned it forever. At least since i was a wittle wittle kid :) ...Ive always been good at falling and getting back up...its like a kid falling off a bike one too many times. She could be traumatized & never want to risk her pain & boo boos again.MAYBE SHE WOULD NEVER LEARN?! A perfect example for me is not having the fear of dogs esp pitbulls. I was viciously attacked by one at age 9 .I even recieved stitches..I overcame it because i knew i had to. it would have effected my joy and left me a coward. There are dogs everywhere. that would be alot of the same worry over the course of so far 15 years. wow that would have sucked. Happiness lies within the beholder and through your belief system. if you believe in only yourself or whatevers in front of you all day everyday, you lose your focus. what if that were to fail..then what would you be left with? yourself! Bob marley says be happy dont worry. happiness happiness happiness. Fake a smile if you have to ...itll grow on you for sure..
the suns out. go out and be happy!